A jerry-built website
Worldwide Corporate Headquarters: Thomas A. Bell House
Some locals call it the "Beaver Manor" because it is located on Beaver Creek, has a beaver design in the stain glass windows and on the shutters, and has a beaver cartoon painted on the floor.
Corporate Founders: (Genealogy)
Information on the Ancestors of:
Thomas Newman Holman, born July 6, 1886 in Brodhead, Rockcastle Co., Ky
Lula Jane (Carson) Holman, born July 17, 1890 in Spiro, Rockcastle Co., Ky
Francis Rudolph, born about 1791 in Germany
Catherine Leichtenberger, born about 1777 in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania
Corporate Sponsor: WAM-PA
The WAM-PA office remains closed and the lights are dim. Our one union employee has been reduced to a 29-hour work week, with no benefits.
However, in this Summer of Recovery, things are looking up. A Chinese businessman has offered WAM-PA exclusive marketing rights to copies of emails (regarding personal matters, such as yoga classes; government marked and un-marked secrets; and foundation fund-raising) to and from important government officials. The profit potential is unlimited.
A Russian businessman offered us the same deal, but at a lower price. As proof of authenticity, he sent us one email for inspection. It was from the husband and daughter of the owner of the private server, addressed to a number of public officials, asking them to participate in an "intervention" to stop someone's chronic lying. Those holding or seeking public office do not know how to respond when asked if they believed the obvious lies. Party leaders are asking: "What will it say about the Party if our standard bearer is a habitual liar? What kind of example will this be for our children? If we are not careful, future Olympians might believe that 'Over-Exaggerating' is acceptable behavior." Various political consultants reminded the Party that most members of the base do not object to lying -- if the end justifies the means.
The Chinese businessman countered with a recording of a phone message from someone who called himself "the big dog". "Honey, I just read in the New York Times that He intends to keep His BlackBerry. You can not let Him get ahead of us. We need to set up our own system. I already have a server in the basement."
Our team of lawyers checked with the Department
of Justice. They were told that as long as we have good intentions, we can
distribute these files. Also, since there are so many groups trying to sell
access to these files, there are no anti-trust considerations.
Late on Friday before the holiday, the Board of Directors announced an additional bonus to our CEO for his suggestion on how to fight Global Warming. Instead of burning coal, we now burn pages of the Federal Register. It reduces carbon emissions, and it's cheaper. Ask your elected official to mail you a copy each day. It's a renewable resource eligible for Federal tax credits.
This is a secure site. All email goes to a private (not-yet-wiped) server located in a basement in Chappaqua.
No reason to think twice before you send questions, comments, and complaints to: